Ladies and Gentlemen, Start Your Creation Engines

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Update: If anyone is seriously considering this, we’ve got a few ideas in mind for a collection of quest rewards. How’s this for a shower gift: a Steam key that will grant you, and presumably Dovahkiin him/herself, every ZeniMax/Bethesda game — past, present and future — for life. Once your child eventually achieves cognition — and grows old enough to play intense video games — we think it will agree that this key blows away a pink pleated onesie. As for the rest of the loot, we’ll leave it as a surprise.

Original story: Our man Pete Hines sends word that today, February 18, is the ideal time to conceive if you’re looking to roll a new character/child on Skyrim Day — 11/11/11. Just how exactly he learned this is worth pondering, but we’ll take him at his word for the sake of amusing science.

So, think you have the stat points in you to produce the perfect eight pound dragon-slayer? Like the wizened wizard he is, Pete is throwing down with a casual quest, offering up an unknown reward to any couple adventurous enough to name their 11/11/11-born child “Dovahkiin.” While it may be difficult to play Skyrim from the hospital, just think of how many late nights you’ll have to lull your little Dragonborn with Jeremy Soule’s soothing music.

And with that, we have possibly doomed a child. I’d say this calls for a hefty disclaimer.

Disclaimer: Any reward for completing this quest will not ultimately justify the potential teasing your child could — and probably will — endure over its lifespan. Bethesda Softworks is not responsible for your parenting. You may gain experience points for completing this quest, but you will not care at 3am on a work night. Completion of this quest may also result in decreased desire to play video games and/or function as a human being. Consult with your friends before embarking on this quest; while it may not start in prison, it probably ends there.

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Reader Comments

  1. My daughters names by the way are Nanaiya and Nav`ea. So Dovahkiin would not have been a stretch. Too bad I missed it by a year.

  2. Yeah, ask someone to name their child “Dovahkiin”, then put a fancy disclaimer up and hope to get away with it. I guess someone, somewhere won’t resist the temptation :)

  3. Oh, Ian Acorn, you are better than us all. So much skill it must have taken to write ‘1st’. How many hours of pondering you must have sweated through to think up such a perfect post. Moron.

  4. Would be so nice, and you convince you girlfriend, fiance, wife that it would be a good idea.
    And after a few months bethesda announce that the postpone the drop of the game.
    Historical!

  5. I heard about this via the official forums yesterday. If I was a few years older and I had a girlfriend willing I would seriously do this. (I’m 18 now) I would just call my child by their middle name. And if anyone gave her/him crap at school he/she could just use Th’um (Dragon Shout) to destroy them.

  6. If we’re going to go to this much trouble, then you’d better not move the release date. Or else.

    Other than that, fellow Elder Scrollers, babies are for life, not just for 11/11/11. Spawn wisely.

  7. I had to read this 3 times before I could figure out that it was talking about having a baby. Please go back to writing class and learn how to write, thanks.

  8. It would be cool if in Skyrim you transcend through people when you die! If you have a child in the game you can raise him pure!

    That would be cool.

    But I’m sure its much better!

    Can’t wait!

    Appreciated the series! It did good for me !

  9. I’ve yet met a girl who was named Jenova, after JENOVA in FF7 (and all her siblings were named after TV or movie characters…).
    Dovahkiin would sound cool as a fist name, if I wasn’t in a francophone country and if I had a child I would consider this. …And if only I could make a child. I assume I’m kind of out of the competition before the start since I’m trans and neutered =(

  10. I would feel sorry for any kid who is a result of this, but I keep thinking about how awesome it’d be to be named Dovahkiin.

  11. Not much time left if you are trying to do this ;) That is unless you force the baby to be born early…

    In all seriousness, I would totally do this and not feel one ounce of guilt. At least my kid wouldn’t run across anyone else with his/her name ;)

  12. Funny story, I actually was pregnant end of January. But I miscarried, so no go for this quest for me. Perhaps we will try for VI? Just tell us what the main character is going to be in that, and I will completely plan for that. :P

  13. What the hey!??? A STEAM KEY with LIFE TIME USE! For every Bethesda game past, present and FUTURE?!

    Too bad i gave a vow of BACHELORHOOD when i was very young.It has rewarded me well with plenty of spending money for many a guiltless purchase of a priceless Bethesda game :D

    Still image of a big smiling baby atop the Bethesda logo truly equals awesome.

  14. The only problem with this whole ‘have your kid be born on 11/11/11′ thing is that you’d be in the hospital when you could be playing Skyrim…

  15. God damn it Bethesda…You tell us this now??? I wouldn’t have gotten a vasectomy if I had known this!!! Now my wife is mad because she’s been asking for another child for like 2 years and I’ve always said no…now I’m willing and we can’t have one….what about adoption??? As for the name…hell I’ve already named our last child Kal-El after Superman, so the name doesn’t bother me…LOL

  16. Oh no – I’m getting started four days late! Guess I need to begin discussing the benefits of c-sections with the misses…

    Come on. You know that’s worth a steam key for SOMETHING.